me: (washing my Tupperware)
stan (creepy 50 year old): oh i should have brought my dishes for you to wash
me: akward laugh...
stan: or how bout this, I'll wash, you dry.... that's how couples do it, right?
me: uncomfortable laugh...
stan: oh, you're a cutter? (said with an oddly intrigued tone while looking at my white heart tattoo on my wrist)
me: oh no! Its a white heart tattoo. I usually wear a watch to cover it at work.
stan: oh, does 'he' have a matching one?
me: ... uh? no I actually got it with my girlfriend before I moved to arizona.
stan: oh i get it, so its like a matching tattoo with your 'girlfriend' (emphasis on girlfriend)
me: well she's just like my best friend that is a girl, not my girlfriend...
stan: you know, whatever makes you happy!! Everyone likes different things
me: oh no, I'm not into that sort of thing, she is totally just my friend.
stan: totally not believing my claim of my not having a heart tattoo with my lesbian lover, continues to tell me a story of a girl he met at a bar and she asked him to go with her to get a tattoo with her on her belly. Apparently he opted not to get a belly tattoo because they seem so hard to keep clean. Oh, but helped random girl he just met at the bar clean and treat her tattoo.
me: confused how his story is a) work appropriate b) relevant and/or c) if it is even true... as i speed walk out of the break room back to my cubicle thinking, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?